Feel the fear and do it anyway
We often see people who take big risks or try daring things and admire what we see as their fearlessness. But are they really fearless? Are they genuinely not afraid of things, or are they deep down just as nervous and scared as we are at the prospect of public speaking or starting a business or moving far away from family and friends, and they’ve just learned to hide it and do things anyway?
Dog trainer Ines McNeil has had people describe her as “fearless”...and she hates it. Why? Because (spoiler alert!) she’s just as scared as anyone else. She’s simply learned to push through the fear and do things anyway. She joined me today to talk about some of the anxiety-inducing things she’s done- from moving internationally to publishing her own dog training curriculum- and how pushing through fear can end up being immensely rewarding.
Links worth clicking
- Connect with Ines on Facebook and with The Modern Dog Trainer on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok
- Association for Professional Dog Training International (APDT has a new name)
[0:00-0:44] Opening
Welcome to Unleashed (at work & home). I'm Colleen Pelar, and this is where pet professionals come for honest conversations about what it really takes to show up for yourself while serving the animals you love. If you've ever felt caught between compassion and exhaustion, you're in the right place. Here we explore what it means to reconnect with your inner wisdom and rediscover the joy that brought you to this work.
[0:44-1:07] Introduction
My guest today is Ines McNeil, and she's the chair of APDT and also the owner of the modern dog trainer. Welcome Ines.
[1:07-1:49] What is The Modern Dog Trainer?
Ines: My goal is, you know, when I look at like my big vision is that ultimately, every community gets access to or has access to a modern dog trainer. And by that, I mean somebody that really is in the weeds, in the science of it. They follow best practices. They go above and beyond for their clients and the dogs that they work with. And, you know, they use innovative strategies to elevate their game, their business, their service, their expertise. And so that's really, for me, what it means to be modern, is really being at the cutting edge, forefront of the industry.
[2:10-2:52] APDT Name Change
Ines: It is the largest dog trainers organization, and we recently, in the fall, updated the name to the Association for Professional dog training International. One is we added international because we it is an international organization. We have people and members all over the world, but we wanted to acknowledge that in our name. And then the second piece of it was going from for dog trainers to for dog training, and that is because we want to make dog training, information and expertise more accessible to fields, all fields that touch dogs.
[3:35-5:00] Career Origins
Ines: I think probably, like most dog trainers, I wanted to be a vet... I was right in there learning all the ins and outs of a vet clinic. And six months into it, I realized this is not the place for me... Throughout my early years, I had one neighbor that had was big into animal rescue dogs... I had another neighbor that had 25 to 35 cats at any given time... All of those experiences together, hit home for me that the challenge in helping dogs, really the medical stuff, is pretty straightforward, but really it's the behaviors of a dog that keep them from getting adopted.
[5:47-6:07] Starting The Modern Dog Trainer
Ines: The modern dog trainers started as a result of running my own dog training business, realizing that I had a lot to learn about the business side of stuff... There was really nothing online at the time. This was back 2011 2012 when there was there's just there was nothing online about what to do to run a group class, or how to run private lessons effectively, or anything like that.
[8:39-10:27] The Crossover Journey
Ines: What got me blogging initially was my own experience with my own dog, and I started the crossover trainer.com... That is where I was blogging about my kind of journey from being more of a dominance based, not force free trainer, to a positive reinforcement based trainer... I adopt the one dog that my techniques were escalating his behavior and instead of de escalating or suppressing and so, you know, it was meant to be, obviously, but it definitely inspired me to share my journey.
[12:12-12:37] Key Business Tip
Ines: The easiest thing to do, and it's something that's kind of a kick I'm on right now, just because it gives you so much control over who sees your marketing, and that is to have an email list... You want to always be in control of the contact information of your potential clients and current clients.
[15:00-17:38] Words That Matter: "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway"
Ines: Everything good in my life has come from feeling the fear and doing it anyways, choosing it for myself... Anytime I have outreached to somebody or chosen to do something scary, every choice that I've made that is scary has worked out... If you're going through life and thinking that you should stay in your little comfort zone and everything will be fine, you know, you won't find that growth that you're probably seeking.
[18:30-19:30] Early Fearfulness
Ines: I was never part of like the in crowd... I speak very good English, but it actually wasn't my first language. I'm French originally, and so, you know, I very much was an immigrant growing up in like, a new culture... I always felt like everything was scary, whether it was reading out loud in class or participating in groups. It was all scary. So I just kind of learned to do it anyway.
[19:55-20:12] On Being Called "Fearless"
Ines: I have been called fearless before, and somebody even gave me a bracelet with that word on it, and I actually despise that word, because I don't do anything fearless. There is always fear... I get annoyed when people think that I am fearless, because you just can't see it.
[26:07-27:01] Family Origins of Courage
Ines: They left their entire family and home to go halfway around the world to live in Texas... My dad always pushed and wanted to go beyond how he grew up. He grew up on a very small farm in the middle of nowhere France, and somehow he saw that he wanted to grow beyond that and find new places to live and grow.
[28:56-29:23] Language Learning Process
Ines: I didn't speak English for a long time. I think I sat around... I just soaked it in. I listened and listened and listened... When I did finally speak, it was like perfect English. So I think that was interesting... I chose not to speak for six months, but that I would take the time to listen. I'm a very good listener.
[30:46-32:06] Magic Wand Question
Ines: For you to see the impact you have on families, not just the dogs or the pets that you work with... I think you obviously we all get into it because we love dogs, and we forget the impact that our work can have on a person, on a family. You know, you can see them go from being at odds and frustrated and like sometimes on the verge of divorce right, to really helping them communicate, not just with their dogs, but often using that as an avenue to help them get on the same page and communicate with each other.
[32:18-32:32] Contact Information
Ines: You can find everything on my website at themoderndogtrainer.net... We have lots of different template bundles coaching opportunities and a membership, and all kinds of other resources to really help accelerate your growth as a dog trainer.