171. Sami Griffin, KPA-CTP, CBCC-KA 

[0:05] Colleen Pelar: Welcome to Unleashed at Work and Home. I'm Colleen Pelar, and this is where pet professionals come for honest conversations about what it really takes to show up for yourself while serving the animals you love. If you've ever felt caught between compassion and exhaustion, you're in the right place. Here we explore what it means to reconnect with your inner wisdom and rediscover the joy that brought you to this work. Make sure to join my email community at colleenpelar.com for gentle, practical insights designed specifically for pet professionals. Now, let's dive in. Welcome back to Unleashed at Work and Home. My guest today is Sami Griffin, who's the owner of Wise Whiskers Training. Welcome, Sami.

[0:52] Sami Griffin: Hi, nice to be here.

[0:54] Colleen Pelar: I'm so happy to have you. So, tell us a little bit about Wise Whiskers. What's Wise Whiskers? Yeah,

[0:59] Sami Griffin: so it is my company. It's just me. I'm the owner and behavior consultant. I do training and behavior consulting for cats and dogs, specializing in fear, anxiety, and aggression, and all of the ways that that shows up. And most of my clients tend to be queer and or neurodivergent, and that's the population I I really enjoy working with because they're my community, and often they don't always feel supported by other trainers, so it's nice to be that place. It is nice to be that place. Yeah,

[1:31] Colleen Pelar: nice to be that place. So, did you plan for that to be your niche, or did that become your niche?

[1:35] Sami Griffin: In terms of like people, didn't necessarily like go out being like only only these these folks, but the animal side has always been fear and aggression and anxiety. That's that is my jam and will always be my jam. I think, and the people just kind of come along because it's the the folks I do well with, and kind of we have similar communication styles, and I'm very good at adapting things, and that's the the people have become my my little niche, but not out of plan. Yeah. So so fear, aggression, and anxiety. What do you think drew you to to that facet of behavior?Yeah, many things, many factors, as always. I think primarily, I I started just in general veterinary technicians and in the foster program in a shelter, and we worked with like neonatal kittens and pups and medical complex creatures, as well as behaviorally challenged ones that were a little more nervous in the shelter or or separation-related distress, and so kind of got my start there. Of like, ooh, it's fun to work with the complex cases. Give me the. I love to take care of them and help people understand how to take care of them. And then found my way through years and time having my own special creatures. So I had a dog with some anxiety and reactivity towards dogs, and then as well as some behaviors towards my cats of growling and and some kind of looked like resource guarding. At the time, I didn't have all the knowledge I have now, but was able to like make some progress, and it was really cool to see. Wow, he's less anxious on walks, or okay, my dogs and cats are snuggling. How cool that that took so much work, but we're here now. And then I also my big cat that is in many photos with me, Char, my big brown tabby. He was an extremely medically and potentially complex cat, and taught me a whole lot about how anxiety shows up, how pain might show up, how how to meet needs when you have all of these comorbid and confounding factors, and just through all of the challenges was able to just like learn so much about how how to be a human caring for an animal that's complex and how to care for an animal that's complex. So that's. I think they're both really. They taught me a lot and gave me so much empathy for both the creatures and the the humans about living with our complex beings.

[4:12] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, and it is. It is complex. Like life today is very complex, regardless of your species these days. It's it's pretty complex.

[4:21] Sami Griffin: Yes,

[4:22] Colleen Pelar: I always like to start with 10 year olds. So, when you were 10, what did you think you were going to do with your

[4:30] Sami Griffin: career? So many paths as a 10 year old did. I I was pretty sure I was going to be a pop star. That clearly has happened. Yes, I also lightly wanted to be. I think as many I was super into animals, but didn't know what to do about it. So mostly was like their cool, and was was so happy when I find like convinced my parents to get me a dog, and was like this is awesome. But I didn't know there was a. Career out of it. I wasn't a kid who like wanted to be a vet necessarily. I think part of that is we didn't really take our dog to the vet nearly as much as maybe we now I would have, but just wasn't really a path. Yes, I'm I'm more aware of things as our society at large. So I think I had no idea what I was gonna be, which is helpful. That then, like, as kind of my passion shifted, and as I had these experiences of like fostering kittens, I was like, "Wow, I love this! This is so cool! Why not go that way? I wasn't really dedicated to anything, which was good.

[5:37] Colleen Pelar: So then, career path wise, did it did it start that you started with a shelter and then came through the ranks there, or did you have some other career first?

[5:49] Sami Griffin: Yeah, I had a very brief career. So my bachelor's is in music. So I did, you know, I went the the music route for briefly, as well as for a pop star. I had to become a pop star. Classical music is obviously the route to pop star, and then I I also majored in women's and gender sexuality studies, which was awesome and super. I mean, like certainly changed my life path in a good way of learning about all of these the systems and learning about oppression, learning about ah how society shows up and its silly little roles, and like the interconnectedness of things. And so, my career, my my job out of college was at an ethics institute, and I like did event planning and worked with worked with people. But most, what I loved was teaching like kids about outdoor ethics, and I thought that was the thing. And then, yeah, like teaching, like outdoor, like camping trips or teaching kids how to interact with nature and leave no trace principles of doing. Yeah, it was so fun, and not really my passion necessarily. I didn't feel like super strong about it, but I remembered how much I loved fostering kittens by senior year of college. And there was a volunteer humane society near me that I started volunteering at, and then they they have an opening for the foster department, and so I I just snuck my way in and have not left animal welfare since. Awesome. So then, what what led you to the

[7:30] Colleen Pelar: taking behavior to be the career? Like I'm going to become a trainer behavior specialist.

[7:36] Sami Griffin: Yeah, I so I thought I would be become a vet tech and work in veterinary clinics or shelters because I loved the medical piece and stuff, and so I did get. I spent a few years in a veterinary tech program, which certainly helps me. I have I have some more understanding and knowledge of things, but it. I did not really find my place in clinics because I had such a hard time seeing stress and knowing about all of these animals' stress and not not being in a position to help them necessarily or to to change the you know culture of the clinic and to to do do what I wanted to do. So I was really really lucky to when I moved out to Colorado, there was a veterinary behaviorist And I, I just finagled my way into into getting getting that a position there where I was a behavior consultant and a behavior therapy technician, doing what I do now, but for for the at a clinic. And I love the complexity. I love being able to like learn more and to to use my training skills in addition to my my behavior knowledge and like animal animal behavior plus fun training of like here's clicker mechanics here I found a shape to capture and it was so fun and I like couldn't imagine just training like for obedience or training like fun little things because it just didn't it didn't it didn't didn't little grasp me it didn't it wasn't what I wanted but there I realized like oh there are people who are trainers and behavior consultants full time for themselves like that is we're referring to all these people. That's a path that I could also take, and so it took a little little spiral. I worked at another shelter in the behavior department briefly, and then like just realized I could I could do the dream of having my own business. It was like a secret dream I didn't know was possible for a few years, and then I, I realized I could do it, so I did.

[9:46] Colleen Pelar: That might be the quote of the episode. I realized I could do it, so I did. I love that. So, how long have you had Wise Whiskers?

[9:55] Sami Griffin: Yeah, for three years. I technically full time. Starting August this year will be three years, but I had a little part time briefly before to get my kind of feet on the ground before I left into the.

[10:10] Colleen Pelar: I know those questions are still so tricky. Like when does something actually begin? Because often you kind of tap dance into things.

[10:18] Sami Griffin: Yes, but full time, like solid three years of of wise whiskers training.

[10:23] Colleen Pelar: Awesome. So what what do you find most fulfilling about

[10:28] Sami Griffin: it? Oh, I knew this question was coming, and still I find it so hard because there's so many pieces that are so fulfilling. Yeah, to get the

[10:35] Colleen Pelar: most. What's any yeah thing that you find fulfilling in some way? Not most, yeah, but

[10:41] Sami Griffin: it's so it is so fulfilling to see like over time seeing like people understand their pets so much more, and then their pets then like communicating with their their humans and they're understanding it, and the like some of the most simple fixes of like teaching basic body language to identify stress early can feel like a huge change for people. Of like, whoa, we didn't have a big reaction because I saw the lip lick and I turned around and there we go. And it's just like it feels like magic, even though I know it's not magic. There are moments where it feels like, wow, all the your cat is snuggling with you now because we taught we taught her how to hand target and we address the pain and there we go. That's it. We fixed it, and not everything is fixed, but everything changes. And progress made is made sometimes, or progress is made most of the time. But that doesn't mean the problem is quote unquote fixed because we're not fixing anything, I'm just helping.

[11:42] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, the fixing is tough because we we get in our head a picture of what fixed is, but we can make huge changes by just improving without fixing. Yeah, and sometimes improving is really just understanding. Like the actual substances are the same, and also we understand it differently, so it can be can be less fraught, less anxious. Yes, absolutely. So that's awesome. So you basically found what what really lights you up, 100% Yeah, it is. It's I can't imagine doing anything else really at all? Like it's so fun. It is so. It's so. I enjoy working with clients so much, and the human pieces,

[12:30] Sami Griffin: and just like talking through what you know, whatever we we worked on the weekend, talking through like problem solving of like we had a hard time with on this walk, and then talking them through and helping them realize they know the answer, they just didn't trust themselves. It's so it's so satisfying.

[12:47] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, I think that's a lot of what I do, helping them find they know the answer, they just didn't trust themselves.

[12:53] Sami Griffin: Yep. Yeah. Yes. And

[12:56] Colleen Pelar: and that piece of like talking things through with people

[13:00] Sami Griffin: is a piece that that many pet professionals find kind of draining.Yeah, what helps you to have that be exciting and fun? Yeah, I think it helps that I always imagined. You know, back to the question up to like 10 year old. I think realistically, as I got older, I always imagined doing some sort of teaching, and and whether that be like humans, I did like voice lessons when I was in college and loved teaching, and you know teaching kiddos how to how to be respectful to nature and enjoy it. So I always enjoyed the teaching aspect of people, and I didn't go into animal training thinking, oh, I'm just going to hang out with animals, and I never have to talk to people. I was very aware and excited about the people part, so I think it helps that I never had the the myth in my head that like animal training, I don't have to deal with people. I wanted to, I wanted to work with people, and I think I my kind of philosophy and framework is making sure every I I know that everyone is an individual and address them as as their individual complex selves, both non human and human. And really, I approach, I try to approach and do a pretty good job of approaching everything with curiosity. Of okay, like we're there's a mismatch here of you didn't you didn't do the thing we talked about instead of like oh they didn't do the thing we talked about why it's okay well why why didn't you do the thing you talked about was it financially like you couldn't get the the X pen was it bandwidth wise you didn't know where to prioritize it and collaborating with people on the plan is so fun because then they they'll they'll say things I never would have thought of of like oh what if we just go downstairs and set it up here it's like great okay make it easy do you're you're right you know your house and you know yourself better than I do so I super. Supersee it as a collaborative relationship, so it feels less frustrating sometimes.

[15:06] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, and and you mentioned curiosity, which leads into I do ask all my guests to share words that have meaning to them, and your words were loving curiosity, which you said are inspired by Maria Lugones, is that how you say the last name? So first off, why these words, and then secondly, who's Maria Lugones?

[15:28] Sami Griffin: Yes, yeah. So Maria Lugones is a like feminist philosopher that I studied in college, and just was really stuck with me. And she let me make sure I let me make sure I have the correct quote. I want to give her the correct credit. Yes. Okay. So she wrote an article in 1987 that really was the most exciting article to read. It's world traveling and loving perception, and the idea is that well, it's really complicated, so just read it. But the idea is that we, especially marginalized folks, and specifically women of color, was what who she was writing about. Learn to travel to other worlds, kind of out of safety and survival of traveling to different cultures and to you know, similar to kind of code switching, but that we can also be doing that out of love and like curiosity instead of survival and necessity of what are other people's experiences, how do other people perceive the world, and looking at them from a sense of curiosity, not a judging perspective, And that, like, it's just so nice, like, to to perceive people with curiosity instead of judgment of how are they different from me and and what makes them different or worse or better. It's like, what are you as a human? How how are you the way you are in a loving way? And that loving piece, I think, is not that I love everyone, but I at least approach it from a. I'm really curious about what your experience is, and want to show up for you the best I can. And that curiosity is like that's the key of even if I don't understand something, I'll approach it with curiosity. So it's yeah, I could probably talk about it for too long and dive too deep.

[17:31] Colleen Pelar: I I doubt it. I doubt

[17:33] Speaker 1«FLAG: generic speaker label from Otter — likely a continuation of Colleen Pelar's sentence; verify against audio.»: it.

[17:34] Colleen Pelar: No, I think that's really interesting. And and if possible, I'll link to that article. So

[17:39] Sami Griffin: yeah, yeah, I can send it to you.

[17:40] Colleen Pelar: That'd be great. I will link it up in the show notes so people can read it. But the idea of curiosity is is something we've explored before. I like adding the loving piece. You know that to have this sort of gentle, loving perspective of you know what's here and and why might that be true can be so helpful. So you said you read that in college. So that's those are words you've held onto since then. Yep. Yeah. Absolutely.Okay. And so, what is different for you as a result of of having this frame?

[18:30] Sami Griffin: Yeah, I think a large part of it is seeing like the interconnectedness of everything, and so especially through like college,

[19:30] Colleen Pelar«FLAG: the content of this entire block reads as a continuation of Sami Griffin's answer (it picks up mid-thought from her 18:30 turn and is followed by Sami's block at 21:30 which itself begins mid-sentence, "me both..."). This looks like a speaker-attribution error by Otter rather than an actual change of speaker. Please verify against audio before using any of this material as a Colleen quote or a Sami quote.»: the women's studies program, learning about like systems of oppression and intersectionality-that we are all more than just one identity or one experience. We're all of the things that the world that that we are, we're every everything and all of the things at once, and so I'm so aware that I can't look at one thing in isolation. I can't just look at the dog. I can't just look at the dog's outward behavior. I have to both look at the dog's outward behavior. What could be going on internally? What are their discomforts? Then what is the dog in the environment, and what is their behavior in this environment? Okay, now also the person. This person has a complex life in addition to being a pet parent. What are all of the things going on that may contribute to, like financial ability, emotional bandwidth, like their understanding of their pet, and then also within society, what what are community things that may be contributing? What are societal pressures of things and bigger and broader? And that framing one helps like remove judgment because no one is making one decision just based on one thing. It's all of the things, and helps me be really aware of all the ways I can help people, and all of my limitations, and being able to refer to other people, or other organizations, or other like other community support or social support that I'm not able to give, but I recognize they need. I like both pieces of that last. That you're more aware of the ways you can help because you do see this big picture that there's lots of little things you can do in some of these areas that you might not see if you weren't looking at it that holistically, and that you can comfortably refer out the pieces that aren't yours. You're like, nope, yes, that one's not mine. So imposter syndrome comes up so often for people in this community of like I'm supposed to actually know everything, all of it, always, and we don't have to know everything, all of it. We can't always. We can't. Well, there is sort of this perception that some folks do, or you know, like if only I knew everything that person, which which is so unrealistic when we stop and we look at it, and yet the feeling is super common. So that's what struck me when you said that about you know knowing the things that you can help with and referring out, and then you added some lovely detail about referring out, but I want to go back to like the knowing of what you can do. What do you see as the links between knowing how you can help and using that as a way of of helping yourself avoid some of the imposter syndrome feelings that that crop up for normal, healthy people, sometimes, yeah, yeah, such a good question. I think one like therapy has helped

[21:30] Sami Griffin: me both, like being able to take care of my own mental health and a lot of what I talked about in many times of like is that that sphere of control, and like there are things that are outside of my control, but there are things that are in my control. And recognizing what is in my control and outside of my control is so important. And it's a practice. Like there are weeks that I'm mad about something outside of my control, and I have to talk to a friend or a mentor or colleague and be like, "Oh, I know I'm being unrealistic, and I know I can't control this, but just let me vent briefly, and then I'll move on. And I think too, like that, the social support that I have too has helped me in those moments where I do feel imposter syndrome, or I am, I feel stuck. Of one, it's okay to be stuck. Like we can't do everything. We're one human with one experience. We should rely on other people to give us ideas, and sometimes it's just a matter of saying the thing out loud and saying I feel stuck and I feel like I'm doing a bad job, and then realizing like that's not true. I might feel stuck, but that doesn't mean I'm doing a bad job. I just need a different approach, or need something else to happen, or need a second set of opinions on the the the thing I'm working on. Yeah, I think I answered the question.

[22:49] Colleen Pelar: You absolutely did.

[22:50] Sami Griffin: Very okay.

[22:51] Colleen Pelar: Very very well. So, what is something that you know about yourself or the world that you've learned about yourself or the world through your work with animals.

[23:02] Sami Griffin: Whoa, that's a heavy, good question. I think kind of reaffirming that all individuals are their own individuals, and I know said versions of that before, but like recognizing that we each have our own personalities, we have our flaws and our strengths and things we're working on, and especially like for pets, they not every pet is going to be a perfect fit for every home, or they're going to have challenges in one home versus the other. But that's just that's that's the nature of being alive on this planet at this point in time. We we all have our own needs, and sometimes they mismatch, or sometimes we have to change them, and that doesn't mean we're failing anything. We're just-it's complex to be an individual on this earth, as you said earlier. Like any individual, we all have a lot going on. Yeah, and we and we are all individuals, you know.

[24:00] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, and that's that was one of my frustrations when I was training was how many people would have an image of a breed in their head, and then be frustrated with their dog for not being their image of the breed, and I would be like, sort of that that image of the breed isn't 100% accurate.

[24:22] Sami Griffin: Yeah, sorry, there. It's also made up, and

[24:24] Colleen Pelar: then then within a breed, there are individuals, and there's all this, and also what that is all about doesn't really matter because we're really just dealing with this dog right here, right now in your home. Yep, but it's a tricky piece because we do that with with people as well, like it's so 100% Just you know, jump into like people like them. Oh, really? Who are the people like them, and what makes them a group that we can identify as those people? But it leads us back to that perpetual frustration of the answer to all the questions is is. It depends. Yes, but it's correct. It's the right answer. It is correct, and and also the only correct answer in the beginning. It because you do need to start factoring in all of these pieces of that all individuals are individuals. Yeah. So this falls in the category of information that's just kind of like, well, duh, and also not typically applied, which is which is how I felt about a fair amount of Ian Dunbar's stuff when I first encountered it before you were born, likely. But some of it was like once you heard it, once you integrated it. You're well. Everyone knows that.

[25:44] Sami Griffin: Yeah,

[25:45] Colleen Pelar: but you remember the moment that you didn't know it, that you learned it, and yeah, for sure, calming signals fell in that category for me too.

[25:51] Sami Griffin: 100%

[25:52] Colleen Pelar: Turid Rugaas explaining calming signals, and I was like, "Oh, of course, yes,

[25:58] Sami Griffin: yeah.

[25:59] Colleen Pelar: But there was a before when I didn't. So this perspective of that all individuals are individuals, and and that's come up in a couple of different ways, and it comes up on your website too to a certain extent. So this is this is important to you. When do you think you became a person who really started noticing and tracking that, yeah, I think it started in college-ish of like the first time being be on my own, like so much informative stuff and like academic

[26:30] Sami Griffin: information. It's also when I realized more about like my gender and sexuality, and like, oh wow, I'm so much more complex than I gave myself credit for. And then I think it it had to sit and percolate as I like focused on okay vet tech stuff oh okay let's I'm in vet behaviors I'm a shelter and I think it it took time of me also like burning out from shelter work of being exhausted and not not being my best self because I didn't have my sphere of control idea and I had a I had a hard time of recognizing individual like factors and experiences, especially like when everyone is burnt out, everyone is grumpy. We don't have the capacity to be curious and to be kind and patient with people, and so I didn't I didn't have the practice. And then I really think like starting my own business, being my own boss, making my own schedule, being able to focus on my mental health, and work on my internal self as well. It all just like came together. Of oh, these are why this is it. We're all on our own. We are all our own people. We're all our own pets and and dogs and cats and bunnies, and the the world is affecting us in different ways. But it did take me being able to be be patient and be in my like it. What what am I saying? It took a lot of meeting my own needs very much like basically of okay, we're addressing your own needs, taking care of myself, and then everything could fall into place of all of over years. I was like, oh wow, I didn't have the bandwidth to be curious or to be kind, and then it spirals into I'm just grumpy about people being people, but they're just being people, yeah. So yeah, I think it really just in the last like probably that first year of business, it all sat and percolated as I was able to do things my own way and realize like, wow, I'm good at recognizing all of the factors. That's it's working. Like I'm seeing progress by doing what I want to be doing instead of what I'm supposed to be doing, quote unquote, with like obedience training, because I don't care. If you care, great. I thought I had to do it, and I didn't want to.

[28:53] Colleen Pelar: Yeah,

[28:54] Sami Griffin: yeah,

[28:55] Colleen Pelar: yeah. And that word obedience, yeah, is always. It's a gross word. It's it's a it's a rough word, um, so so working in a shelter and then working in your own business where it's just you those are opposite ends of the spectrum that have the common piece of oh my gosh I have to do it all and I can't stop I can't rest so so you've you've had that experience both when there is a team and everybody's burned out, and there's just you and there's nobody to take over when you stop. So fix it for us. What what is what would you suggest for anyone anywhere along that spectrum? They have people around, they don't have people around either way.

[29:38] Speaker 3«FLAG: generic speaker label from Otter — verify against audio.»: Yeah,

[29:38b] Colleen Pelar: but wow, they need to take care of their own needs, and yet, boy, that feels like maybe a diversion from the actual mission. What?

[29:47] Sami Griffin: Yeah, it is, and I mean, part of it is is the, especially in the U.S. the system we we live under that is super pro capitalist, super like work until you drown. Work is productivity. Stress means you're doing good, and that's not true. But it's what certainly we're taught, and it's. I think once I started my own business, I also realized like if I burn out and if I can't make it to work, like that's bad. That's that's. I would like a sustainable job, and I don't want to. I don't want to disappoint my clients by not being able to show up. And the way to do that is to not get so overwhelmed and burnt out. And I think that helped. Like, it's maybe not the best approach of like I'm doing this for my clients, but it certainly helped. Of like, I'm doing this so I can help more people, and also be a good wife and a good pet parent and a good friend. They're all conjoined. They're not separate. We can't separate actually work from home, really. In terms of yeah, we can have boundaries, but they're all us. They're all still in our life. And I got really lucky. I found the Pet Pro, Pet Harmonies Pet Professional program really as soon as I started my business, and so I got set off on a very good foot of having support, having someone guide me and help me realize like what my limits are and figure out how many hours do you want to work before you start taking on more than you can take. Know your limits before, and sometimes I push myself, and I get really tired after two weeks of too many appointments, and then I go, "Well, that's why I have the limits, and I have to remember that those exist for a reason. And I try not to get mad at myself for overworking because that also doesn't help of being upset at myself, yeah. It's it is. It's both harder and easier to be my own boss because I am in control of a lot of things, and that's really great. Is that scary? Absolutely, but it also means I can take care of myself a lot better. Yeah,

[32:00] Colleen Pelar: and and that piece of trying not to beat yourself up, I think, ties back to the loving curiosity piece of you.

[32:06] Sami Griffin: Yeah,

[32:07] Colleen Pelar: you can be a little bit curious about the you that made those choices. So, what mattered to that version of me? And okay, so that that's how that played out. Yeah, what I like moving forward.

[32:20] Sami Griffin: Yes.

[32:21] Colleen Pelar: So that's that's really an important part of it because it's tricky and there it is so complex and it does often feel like we can put off taking care of ourselves because everything else is more urgent and and that's so dangerous and and as you even brought up the idea of like, well, take care of yourself so you can work harder is also a fairly toxic message. Yes, that can be one that motivates us because we are so so motivated by by the chance to serve. Yep. So it is it's definitely something that pet professionals all over, and particularly in the United States, struggle with because it is so complex and woven into all of our messaging. So I appreciate you bringing all of that up today and kind of tying some of the pieces together, and just even even the whole locus of control element, which also falls in the category of information that once you get it seems so obvious, like everyone gets that. But no, until you stop and look at some of the things that you're trying to control that you actually cannot control, and you can only even barely influence, you're sort of like, oh, okay, let me let me redirect a little bit of my attention in a in a support group I'm running. That was the topic of last week's discussion with locus of control, and I debated when we were creating the outline whether or not to include it because because it is sort of like a well yeah, but no, there's it's so valuable to really stop and look.

[34:01] Sami Griffin: Yeah, and in application, it's so much more complex than like, yeah, of course, things out my control I can't control. But you have to sit with all of the things, and and that is it is hard. It is very difficult.

[34:14] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, and particularly when we're looking at behavior thing, if your criteria is, you know I want to have successful outcomes for my clients, and successful outcome means everything is perfect and and dreamy in all ways. To go back to our earlier fixing piece, that's out of your control, and so we will never ever ever get to go to bed at night going. All of my clients have perfect outcomes and all as well. But if you can look at locus of control, how did I show up in these sessions?Did I deliver to the best of my ability? Was I lovingly curious? Was I asking questions? Then you have you can have a different feeling about it. But it's tricky because success. Can it's really easy to define it into black and white terms?

[35:05] Sami Griffin: Yes,

[35:06] Colleen Pelar: you know,

[35:06b] Sami Griffin: and that is impossible in actuality.

[35:09] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, even for things that are are fairly black and white, like a dog that dashes out a door and you train new behavior and you change things, all you can do is say the dog has successfully not dashed out a door for two months now, but

[35:23] Sami Griffin: yes, you

[35:24] Colleen Pelar: can't successfully say and never ever will ever ever again. You know, so even when it sounds clear cut, it isn't. Yeah, and having some understanding of that when we're when we're looking at what we're trying to deliver, focusing on locus of control, can be super helpful because we're often trying to control things we cannot control.

[35:48] Sami Griffin: Yeah, and it lines up too with like realistic expectations of goals, both for ourselves as people, as behavior consultants, as trainers, and then expectations for the the pet, expectations for the human. Like you have you. It's a hard, good skill to have realistic expectations. Like I'm not going to have this dog sit for 10 minutes every time a door is open. That's yeah. That's silly. That that is unrealistic and unnecessary. But can I help prevent the stress for the human and the dog from reducing the likelihood of DoorDashing? For sure, I can do that. Yep. Yeah. Yep. It's a hard, good skill to have. You do have a lovely way with words. Oh, great! Thank you. I'll take it.

[36:30] Colleen Pelar: So, if I had a magic wand and you could grant a wish or a blessing upon all pet professionals everywhere, what would you give us? Oh, oh boy! A good question.

[36:44] Sami Griffin: I think like a a support system that is actually uplifting and supporting, because a that's really the key of of having people and things around you that are going to help you. As because I can't make no challenges appear. That's unrealistic wishing. They can't have people find support, have support that is useful for them as individuals and as trainers that will help them with their goals and not be like judgmental or hurtful or or everyone's burnt out when we're all burnt out when we can't get out of the hole. Like let's all, let's all lift. We'll all get out of the hole and then support others who are stuck in the hole of of whatever burnout, compassion fatigue, not feeling like a successful trainer.

[37:33] Colleen Pelar: Yeah, we'll take it. Thank you.

[37:36] Sami Griffin: Yes, yeah, it's I. It's a good wish. It's a good thing to have.

[37:39] Colleen Pelar: It's a good wish. We're we're we are in favor.

[37:42] Speaker 4«FLAG: generic speaker label from Otter — verify against audio.»: Yeah. So,

[37:43] Colleen Pelar: if people wanted to learn more about you and your work, Sami, how could they do that?

[37:46] Sami Griffin: Yeah. So, um, my Instagram lots lots happening on my Instagram, which is Wise Whiskers Training, um, and my website WiseWhiskers training.com[. I'm also speaking in October at Clinical Animal Behavior Conference. Um, so there may still be things available at the time that this comes out. I'm talking about gender inclusive language from a clinical practice, and then I'll also be speaking at ClickExpo still live in January on shelter burnout and how to how to avoid it from learning from my mistakes as well as navigating pain in your pets as a behavior consultant, and then I'm I'm in the works of offering some other professional education opportunities as well. But there's there's no firm dates. Just things are coming to help people navigate complex animal situations.

[38:40] Colleen Pelar: Perfect. Okay, people can keep watching to know when it is here. Well, thank you so much for joining me today and talking to me about all this. I'm so appreciative of it.

[38:48] Sami Griffin: It was fun.

[38:49] Colleen Pelar: That's our conversation for today. If something we talked about resonated, I invite you to sit with it, notice what feels true, and what you want to explore further. You don't have to have it all figured out to start moving toward what matters. Whatever showed up for you today-clarity, questions, even resistance-trust that it's pointing you towards something important. For more support, join my weekly notes at ColleenPelar.com. And until next time, remember, you are enough. Always, just as you are.