Do you judge yourself more harshly than you judge anyone else? Are you aware of the judgments as they occur? Do you hear the things you are thinking and saying about yourself?
Often you don't. Often you spend your day noticing everything that went wrong--both what you did wrong and what other people did wrong. But you aren't consciously noticing the harsh judgment of your mind chatter.
Our brains have a negativity bias. They're wired to be perpetually on the hunt for bad stuff. And guess what? They find it!
Sandy Weaver talked with Colleen Pelar about judgment and its effect on our lives. Sandy works with organizations that want to help their employees grow because that improves the profitability and performance. And she's also a dog show judge. She's a perfect fit for this topic.
Judgment is not inherently bad. It's great to have a set of criteria that you can measure performance against.
But you need to be sure that you are using criteria that feels meaningful and appropriate to you.
Which means you need to become aware of your mind chatter (and your brain's incredible ability to make stuff up!) and evaluate it.
Ask yourself if the judgment thought helps you learn, grow, or feel better? Has the judgment pointed out something that is against your core values?
The the judgment doesn't help you move forward in a positive way, then it's likely that you are using the wrong criteria.
Taking time to explore your core values and how you want to show up in the world will change your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
It'll give you greater self-compassion and greater empathy for others. And it will help quiet that negative judgy voice in your head. What a relief!
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to check out the one on self-compassion with Michele Gaspar!