What you think about you matters most
For many people, there's a lifelong struggle between internal and external validation.
From a young age, we are taught how to get others' approval--how to make your parents happy, what teachers expect from you, how to be a friend, etc. We get praised for our efforts, get social recognition, sometimes we even win awards! It feels great.
But somehow those good feelings don't last. And we're left striving for approval once again.
Contrast that experience with having utter clarity about who you are and what you value. That kind of self-knowledge provides you with a way of measuring your own success in every moment.
Instead of feeling like you "should" do this or that (based on what someone else values), you make choices based on what feels right and true for you. You learn to trust yourself to make good decisions.
Lisa Radosta, DVM, DACVB, shared her thoughts about the power of internal validation as well as her own simple metric for evaluating each day. Give it a try and let me know what you think!
Links worth clicking
- Florida Veterinary Behavior Service, Lisa's behavior practice
- The Real Dog Nerds, educational site for dog owners hosted by Lisa Radosta, Mindy Cox, and Cheryl VanVoorhies
- A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle, the book Lisa mentioned that explores the concept of who is "I" in your "I am" statements?
- It's Okay That You're Not Okay, by Megan Devine, a book I read recently that helps people carry grief that cannot be "fixed" and gives tools for helping people make choices about what is right for themselves rather than feeling pressured to meet others' expectations (a skill that comes in handy during grief as well as every other challenging moment in life).